Tag Archives | money personality

Getting it Together

WeddingGetting it Together

One of the most important relationships you will have in your life is your relationship with money. Everybody’s relationship with money is different. It can be influenced by things you learned about money when you were a child, your family circumstances when you were growing up, good and bad experiences with money, your values, how conservative you are, and many other factors. Your relationship with money is defined as your money personality and this will determine how easy it is for you to save and how willing you are to take financial risks.

The problem is, when two people get together, they are likely to have a different money personalities and therefore different attitudes toward spending, saving and taking financial risks. It is not uncommon for one partner to carefully budget and set up good systems for managing money, only to have the other partner raid the bank accounts for non-essential spending. From the spender’s point of view, the careful budgeter is being mean with their money and not allowing the spender to enjoy life. Failure to compromise is likely to cause ongoing disharmony in the relationship.

If you are a careful budgeter in this situation, it is important to recognise that it is not wrong to spend rather than save provided you understand and accept the consequences of your actions. Make sure the spender fully understands they are sacrificing medium and long term goals. Get agreement with your partner on long term goals and how much money you will need to achieve them. Next, agree some guidelines around spending and saving that will help with managing your money in the short term. If your partner is not willing to participate in or commit to this process, there is likely to be ongoing conflict in your relationship over money matters.

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Love and Money

Love and Money

Relationships are complex and adding financial stress into the mix complicates things even further. Arguments about money are the leading cause of relationship breakdown and it follows that if couples can find a way to reduce financial stress and avoid conflict over money, the chances of a successful relationship are greatly enhanced. When two people come together from different backgrounds, they usually have different attitudes towards money or different money personalities. That’s because your money personality is shaped by a number of factors that relate to your upbringing and your past experiences. These different money personalities show up as different attitudes towards spending and saving, debt, financial risk, and building wealth. It is important to remember that when it comes to personalities, there is no right and wrong; just different. The best way to deal with differences is to firstly identify what they are, then to acknowledge them with acceptance and discuss how they can be taken into account. Opposite personalities, such as spenders and savers or risk takers and risk avoiders require compromise and boundaries. For example, a spender can be given freedom to spend up to a certain limit, or a risk taker can be given an agreed amount of money with which to speculate. Problems occur when there is no compromise, when boundaries are not set and more importantly when people do not acknowledge or understand the consequences of their actions. For example, a spender may incur large debts without thinking about how the debts are going to be repaid. In a good relationship, each person acts in such a way as to cause minimal negative impact on the other. Agreeing financial goals is a great place to start so that you are both working towards the same outcomes with regard to your income and your assets.

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